


Unwelcomed feelings

by ICouldHaveABetterName



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Detroit: Become Human (Video Game) RPF
Genre: Denial, Happy Ending, M/M, One Shot, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 01:36:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17416496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICouldHaveABetterName/pseuds/ICouldHaveABetterName
Summary: When Gavin starts developing feelings for a certain someone, he does the only thing he knows, drowning the feelings until they go away.In which Gavin is bad with emotional intelligence, Nines and Hank play matchmakers, and Connor is a cinnamon roll.





	Unwelcomed feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This work is a gift to @phcknrobot on Tumblr (I'm so sorry it's this late!) I hope you (all) like it! This is my first time writing convin, it was really fun working on this thing.   
> Enjoy!

There were three things that Gavin hated.

High ranked people who believe are above others.

Tuna sandwiches.

And the fact that Connor, the RK800 that followed detective Anderson everywhere, acted as if he didn't have a single drop of malice in his programming.

That day they were going to celebrate the robot's freedom anniversary. The district was going to host a small party along the officers, the androids that now worked with them, and the Markus’ head group (3? 4 more people?). Gavin could barely believe that he had actually put up with that for a year now.

When the march happened and that Markus android lead his kind, Gavin wasn't pleased. Sure, he knew that they weren't actually attacking people, and they wanted a pacific confrontation, but he did believe that if things kept going at that pace sooner or later humans were going to start losing jobs and of course androids were going to be the ones climbing to the top of the economy. He didn't like the way rich people looked down at their “inferiors” but at least he knew how humans worked.

Then of course the press decided to show the camps where the government held captive the robots, and that… that definitely shaked something. Tiny robots, big robots, some of them with either more feminine or masculine designs on their body, and the worst part was that pure terror shown in their faces. Gavin understood that if freaking robots could show fear on their faces only God knew what they felt at being captive and tearing their families apart.

So of course, when Markus won peacefully and Connor arrived with all the other Cyberlife's androids, Gavin let it slide. Damn, he even felt sympathy for the robots.

And then the next 3 months kind of felt like a fever dream. First Connor brought a lot of the androids with the same programming as him to the station, and as Captain Fowler has the biggest heart (with emphasis on the sarcasm), he decided that they could found all the androids that wanted a job a place in the department. This ended with 4 weeks of complete intolerance from part of Gavin after his previous partner got replaced for another machine, as if he hadn't had enough.

After the 4 weeks that were filled with Gavin more irritable than usual, Anderson mocking him every time they crossed paths, Connor trying (and miserably failing) to cheer him up, and a new android-partner model RK900, Gavin made a new unexpected ally and Anderson didn't have anything else to mock him for.

His new partner Nines, as the precinct had nicknamed him, was almost identical to Connor. Same face features, same body design, same height, the difference: blue and cold eyes instead of brown ones and the way that Nines looked like he could kill everyone on the room and not feel anything even close to remorse when doing it. That's what made them both bond. Nines wasn't afraid to speak his mind and tease him, and Gavin started to actually enjoy the banter that he could create with the android.

After those first 4 weeks working with Nines, Gavin realized that they actually could spend a civilian time with Connor and Anderson. Even if Anderson had spent all the time mocking him about the “sexual tension” between both Nines and Gavin, Nines took it as a challenge and mock back with snarky remarks about him and his domestically life with Connor, who of course lived with Anderson since the last day of the robot’s rebellion. Gavin learned to work alongside Nines and both of them knew where to hit Anderson knowing that him would make another retort towards them without missing.

Even if they had learned to spend 5 minutes without really fighting, Gavin realized that something still annoyed him to death, and after what took him months, he finally understood what was it.

Connor.

The guy (because, yes, after 5 months of working with androids and learning to live with them, Gavin could finally see them as people) was unbearable. Bringing androids that needed to work to the department. Giving “encouraging words” to Gavin when he was first dealing with Nines. Staying at Anderson's side every single day like his loyal dog. Everything was driving Gavin insane. If he had learned something from his 37 years of life was that no one could be that good, not even a robot (Nines was living proof of that). He always smiled at everyone who came to talk to him and took all of the remarks that either him or Nines throw as if it was constructive criticism. He couldn't take it anymore.

Gavin filled his cup with the coffee from the coffeemaker and walked towards his desk. 

Everyone was in an excitable mood. The day was already considered a celebration of freedom and everyone was already considering it as another 4 of July (which definitely easy Gavin's favorite celebration). He sat in front of Nines, and while making a quick scan of the room Connor, who was seated and chatting with Anderson, caught his gaze and smiled. Gavin rolled his eyes and turned to see his computer just to hear a snicker coming from in front of his desk.

“The hell do you want now, Nines?” Gavin knew it was him, almost 7 months working with that soda can taught him how to differentiate him from Connor.

“Doesn't matter, your head wouldn't understand it” Gavin raised his eyes to look at Nines who was looking amused at him, and before he could answer the insult he added “Another coffee, Reed? It's 1:30 pm”

“Never is a bad time for caffeine, IOS” Gavin went back to his final report and sighed. Last week had been tiring, somehow crimes increased to almost 2-3 individual calls daily, which they all had to answer. He knew he liked being in the field, chasing people and and investigating, the problem were the reports, and while he was finishing the last one, Gavin was tired, he only wanted to go to his place and get some drinks.

**********

Thirty minutes later he was finally sending the last document and grabbing his things. The day had been long but it was finally over.

Gavin grabbed his phone and started to walk towards the exit. There was no need to say goodbye to anyone since he would most probably see them the next day. Of course that's what he thought just before being not-so-surprised by Connor.

“Hello detective Reed” Connor stood right in front of him giving him a small smile. 

Gavin nodded with his head and rounded the android, starting to walk away from whatever small conversation he was aiming for. This had no use whatsoever since Connor started walking with him instead.

“ I wanted to ask if you are coming to the celebration later on the day?” Connor seemed eager, the guy still couldn't control his emotions and feelings yet, Gavin thought it was because he wasn't used to having to deal with those, and, even if Anderson had tried to reach Connor a thing or two, he lacked a lot of intelligence in that department.

Both of them arrived to the elevator and, after pressing the button, Gavin turned to see Connor's face again. He didn't know if the eager in his face was because he expected to see Gavin at the party or not, and Gavin felt something in his chest at the second thought.

\-----------

Other thing that he discovered in the last year was something that he hadn't told anyone and he knew he never wouldn't. 

Gavin felt bad.

The first time he had encountered Connor he treated him like trash and Connor hadn't fight back, Gavin didn't know if it was because of the programming or because he was a good person even since then. He even pointed a gun at Connor that time with one of the first Jericho's member they encountered. He really didn't know how could Connor keep his cool around him, Gavin would have already punch himself.

Then happened the time that he caught Connor entering the lead's room and Connor acted a lot more… teasingly. Connor smiled at him almost flirtatious and said something along the lines of “their bromance”. That day the mayor thought he had in his head was “Why didn't I shotted him when I had the chance?” with a smaller thought that he will swear it never crossed his mind of “In any other condition that would have been really hot”

The next couple of days he only saw him in TV, leading the androids to their revolution. After that all hell broke loose. The district had given him and another detectives a free weekend to calm down after the liberation, but for Gavin days were less than calming. 

He started to think about what had happened since Connor arrived to the department and noticed that he looked too much at Connor. He started to get invested in where he was or what was he wearing, he knew that it was weird but he always took it as if he only wanted to know to avoid crossing paths with him. And of course he arrived to the thought.

“In any other moment that would have been really hot”

Needless to say that he entered in denial. He hadn't thought that, and he definitely wasn't thirsty for Connor, he just wasn't.

Later, besides the fact that he was aware of his new “feelings” (because he did not had a crush, maybe he just learned to admire his designed body), he saw Connor everywhere. He talked in TV alongside the new androids who now got to have independence and rights, he was with Anderson talking and smiling about probably stupid stuff (because no, he wasn't jealous of Hank Anderson), he was in every turn he gave and every door he crossed. So Gavin decided to bury all those thoughts and fantasies away and just go back to his self-prick.

It didn't last. He stopped feeling like he wanted to spend more time with Connor but something resurfaced. The memory of him pushing Connor around, insult him and threatened him took place instead of the weird feelings and Gavin thought he was going to go insane, it didn't help the fact that Connor started to say hello to him on a daily basis and tried to start some conversation with him.

That’s where he started to hate Connor's attitude. He was nice to everyone, ladies that came almost screaming and disrupting the place, guys who were still stuck in the racist territory, everyone, even Gavin. So maybe yes, maybe he hated the fact that Connor acted nice and forgiving to everyone because he knew that he and a lot of other people didn't deserved it. But he had his pride too built up to say anything.

\------

Gavin blinked and saw Connor watching him, still expecting.

Party. Of course.

“No, not going” Gavin wasn't going to let Connor win this one, he wasn't going to let him win anything. He knowingly avoided Connor's stare, he didn't know what he was going to find and he probably wasn't going to like it. 

The elevator came and for a second he thought that Connor was going to finally leave him alone, only to find him entering and standing at his side

“It's a celebration of freedom and union, detective. Kind of like a 4th of July” Gavin pressed down to go to the parking lot and mentally decided that he wasn't going to fall for any plan Connor had in his mind. “I thought it was your type of celebration.”

“I don't like the 4th of July, meaningless parties that are only good to make people drunk and more stupid, gives us a lot of extra work.”

“There is going to be free food and drinks, besides a good ambiance to talk” Connor continued as if he hadn't talked. “Nines and Hank are going to be there, maybe you'll end up having a good time.”

“It looks like you don't understand” the door of the elevator opened and Gavin stepped out turning to see Connor -I don't want to go and as a result I'm not going, stop being pushy.

The door was closing and for a moment Connor moved as if to step out of the elevator, only to just stop the door from closing and looking directly at Gavin's eyes.

“Well, then if you change your mind I'll be waiting” He took his hand out of the elevator's door and smiled at Gavin just before the elevator closed again.

A chill crossed Gavin's back and for a second he felt a small pang on his chest.

Fuck Connor and his stupid attitude.

********

Gavin finally had arrived to his place and everything was settled up for an evening to himself. Beers, some chips, pre-heated pizza, and some of his favorites shows to watch without the interruption of the news talking about anything.

He opened a beer, sat in his couch and just when he was about to turn the TV a knock came from the door. Cursing, he left the beer and stood to answer the door.

Another knocking came from the door -Coming!- Gavin opened the door only to find Nines at the other side of the door. He wasn't wearing his usual clothes that he wore for work, instead he had a buttoned shirt and some black jeans, looking as if he had gotten ready to the department's party.

“What? Are you picking me to go to prom?” Nines didn't even waited for an invitation and entered to his house.

“So Connor's right and you aren't coming?” Nines raised an eyebrow and started to examine his living room.

“Yes” Gavin answered gaining a daring look from Nines.

“And you are not even going to say why?”

“I don't owe you an explanation.”

“So you are just going to stay here like a hermit?” Nines sat in his couch and grabbed the beers that he had already opened and left in the table.

“Did you just came to my place to steal my drinks?” Nines smirked and drank for the now opened bottle, something that the androids were able to do without causing some damage to themselves, from what Gavin investigated, it was something to help them blend with humans.

“I'm just saying that you are usually a guy that doesn't let a chance go by if it means free drinks, and the last couple of nights we invited you somewhere you made up a stupid excuse not to go” Nines sent Gavin an inquisitive look and Gavin felt almost exposed. He definitely didn't like the way androids could scan things, it was a fairless advantage. “I can't believe you have been making me go out with Connor and Hank, and made me deal with their domesticity.”

Gavin knew he was being childish. Stopping going out just because an stupid crush was not the way he expected his life to go, not that he was going to change something.

“I just had things gotten in the way” Gavin knew he needed to play it safe, not too much information given but also not specific details, everything was in the storytelling “I just had really busy days with everything that's going on this past weeks, besides tonight is probably going to happen some pretty weird things and we are going to need to deal with it and I think I deserve a break.”

It didn't seemed to work since Nines was back at asking questions “Since when does extra work bothered you?”

From all the department, as a friend, he really liked Nines, not really stubborn but enough to be able to get the information that he wanted. Probably something that came in the RK models, since Connor also acted as if the only thing that mattered was what he wanted.

“Since last week trash can. Now leave or stay quiet, I was about to watch some TV” Gavin grabbed a new beer and opened it, he started drinking it while he reached for the TV to turn it on, only to be caught of ward by Nines.

“Is this because of that crush of yours?” Nines said smiling, and while Gavin knew that he was joking he couldn't help in start choking with his drink.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” In a different situation he would have thought of a good comeback, but to be honest that was the summary of why he didn't want to go to the party and as to why he hadn't gone out the past weeks.

\----------

The second time his emotions resurfaced were when he was back working with the department and Nines was assigned as his partner. There was a lot of tension between them, Gavin's ex-work-partner Tina Chen, liked to tease him telling him that it was just unresolved sexual tension (and the fact that he looked alot like Connor just made him angrier). After Tina, half the precinct joined the teasing, and while Nines didn't care about it, Gavin did and the first couple cases they got assigned were failures.

Then Connor, who hadn't took part of the teasing, sat with him during one of his breaks. Gavin was about to tell him that either he left or Gavin, when Connor caught him of guard.

“If you want, I can start talking with the other officers to make it stop.”

Needless to say that Gavin got mixed feelings after that. He didn't need a knight in shining armor, and he definitely didn't want someone speaking for him, after all he could deal with the jokes and teasing, but something move inside him, the thought of Connor willing to defend him would have made him stutter if Gavin didn't buried it with the other couple feelings and thoughts.

“I don't need you 'defending’ my honor, I can deal with whatever is happening right now, thank you very much” Gavin took his trash and was about to stand up when Connor talked again.

“I know you are perfectly capable, detective Reed. I was instructed to say that if I wanted to try and make you feel better” Gavin looked at him confused and Connor seemed to caught the message when he proceeded “They wanted to remain anonymous, I didn't think it was going to work but I thought I could give it a shot”

“Well then, you can go and tell your anonymous friend that you were right, I'm going” Gavin stood up and turned to go. From the corner of his eyes, right when he was throwing his trash, he saw Connor sigh and stand up too. 

Gavin didn't know why, but he realized he was going to meet Connor again.

“Listen” Connor looked directly at him, surprised that he had actually come back “not that I hadn't appreciated the thought, I just don't want to give them the satisfaction of thinking that this is bothering me” Gavin was sure that he only told him because Connor was pathetic and not because he felt bad with himself. “Either way, I'll get out of this by myself”

Connor smiled as if his day had been made and Gavin made a subconscious mental note that Connor looked almost to perfect smiling. The new thought made him almost frown and he started to back away.

“One last thing, detective Reed” Gavin cursed himself and decided that he took really bad decisions “Nines is not that bad once you get to know him, I'm pretty sure he is bothering you because he learned that was your way of bonding”

Gavin nodded a little after that and stood there watching Connor. He was going to let the hell froze first before accepting that he thought Nines actually didn't like him.

“See you later, Gavin” Connor gave one last smile and went outside the snack.

Gavin had to blink a couple of times before finally realising what had happened and that all his feelings were starting to escape the small cage he had them buried.

A couple of weeks later, after Gavin started to act more playful less aggressive with Nines things started to develop smoother, the cases went well, the desk job went also well, and they were actually head to head against Anderson and Connor. Gavin knew that he owed Connor for helping him with Nines, but he wasn't going to tell anyone, and somehow a part of him decided that telling Connor would be a bad idea too.

Everyone started to congratulate both Nines and him about the new found development, and the tease that at the beginning was just aimed towards Gavin it started going towards them both, so Gavin didn't feel that irritated since Nines actually started to play along. Even if Nines was taking the banter and joke with him and the department, Gavin felt as if Nines knew something that didn't tell. When Gavin started to follow the suggestion Connor gave him, Nines acted weird, as if he wouldn't have expected that, it only lasted about a day though and Gavin wasn't going to ask any questions.

After that conversation he and Connor had, Gavin went back to only answer to the hellos in the mornings, and respond to monosyllables whenever Connor went to his desk (Nines was always the one that kept the conversation going). Gavin didn't want to fell for someone like Connor, knowing that he most probably would end up being rejected after the way he treated him, so he just went back to his default. Connor, at the other hand, didn't seemed to be affected by this and kept approaching trying to make conversation happen. 

Gavin just kept pushing his feelings down.

\-------

Nines was watching him with an amused smile on his face, and seemed as if he was going to burst laughing at any time. “You know it's obvious, right Reed?”

Thousand thoughts per second passed his head and he just ended up bursting out the first thing that came to his mind “I don't know what you're talking about” 

Nines seemed to smile even more and shaked his head before finishing the beer he had stolen from Gavin. “You are head over heels for Connor, dickhead. It's really obvious and I don't even know why Chen and Hank hadn't noticed”

Gavin's head started spinning and he hadn't even finished his first drink. “You're delusional.” 

He stood and started walking towards the kitchen, Gavin didn't know why, probably for a glass of water, probably just to win some time to create a convincing excuse, if he couldn't do that, he was doomed.

Gavin reached the kitchen and grabbed a glass and filled it with water, Nines was just entering the kitchen when he noticed how damn guilty he must have looked. 

“Are you actually saying that I have feelings for Anderson's pet? Yeah sure, whatever you say.” Gavin felt bad again for calling Connor that, but he decided that he could learn to live with that, just like the other things.

“Are you saying” Nines tone was mocking, expecting to make Gavin back of “that all the time I have caught you looking and him, spacing out, and the fact that at this point people could ask you where he was and you could tell as well as Hank, all of this is just mere coincidence?”

Gavin was trapped, but he could try to get out of that situation, it wouldn't kill him trying. “Don't bring that out, it's been a tiring couple weeks, everything will be fine after a whole night of rest. Something I'm not going to get if you stay here bothering about stupid stuff”

Nines arched an eyebrow and Gavin's immediate thought was 'I'm screwed’

“What about the fact that your pupils dilate everytime he talks directly to you and you decide to look at him, or the fact that in the nights out we had, if he sat or even stand close to you your heart would start beating faster.”

Gavin knew that was true, he knew that all of it was true and he fucking hated it.

“Why did you actually come, Nines?” Gavin had an idea as to why, and he knew he didn't like it.

“You're coming to today's party, Reed” Nines was looking at him directly and Gavin decided that, the moment he had the chance, he was going to shoot Nines, after all he could get repaired.

As Nines saw that Gavin wasn't reclaiming, he gave a smooth grin. “Change, we're leaving in 20”

Gavin started to pray to every God that listened to him for death, maybe that way he could get away from going to that 'party’.

**********

Gavin was driving with Nines towards the precinct, because even if Nines had taken hi own car to his house, Gavin decided that that way, if Gavin drank tonight, Nines could give him a lift home. Another good point was that he wasn't going to accept that Nines actually took him to the party, he was definitely driving.

They arrived to the building and took the elevator. When they got to the floor, Gavin unconsciously started looking for Connor, Nines was about to start laughing but disguised it with a cough fit. Looking back, Gavin decided that he had been stupid thinking that Nines didn't know anything.

They started walking to were the people where and Gavin decided that he hated this. There was too much people, all greeting and laughing, and he knew that it had been a bad idea after all. He walked towards the table of snacks, took his second beer of the day.

“I thought you weren't coming?” Gavin immediately recognized the voice and his first instinct was turning to look at Nines who was watching him amused. One day he was going to kill that smartphone.

“Well thank Nines, he is persuasive” Gavin turned to look at Connor and he hated himself for doing so, it was easier for him to answer sharp without looking at him.

“Definitely will do” Gavin didn't know what that was supposed to mean, but let it slide. “How long have you been here?”

“Just arrived, I thought you would be with Anderson” Gavin didn't even know why the sudden comment but he couldn't take it back now.

Connor looked somewhere else and Gavin followed his gaze. Anderson was talking with Nines and other officers, and Gavin felt a weird wave of jealousy.

“Are you and Anderson something?” The words escaped Gavin's mouth before he could even stop them.

Connor looked back at him and something crossed his eyes before smiling. “No, no, just friends” Gavin let out a small sigh of relief, noticing how Connor's eyes were on him “I actually have been trying to set him up with the woman that works where he buys his coffee, he is really just really dense”

Connor chuckled and it made Gavin chuckle a little too. Gavin knew that he was risking too much letting all go down along Connor, but somehow dealing with his repressed feelings for a year was downing on him.

\--------

He and Anderson had never gotten along. Anderson never took really seriously his job, coming drunk or not coming at all. Gavin couldn't stand it.

Nines and Connor, on the other hand, were almost like brothers. Gavin noticed it after he and Nines started getting along, they understand each other easily, Gavin always thought I had been because they were the same model and were programmed for the same kind of job, but of course he was wrong.

After some days where Connor made his personal mission to befriend Gavin through Nines, both of the androids decided that the four of them went out. The four of them being Nines, Connor, Anderson, and Gavin, needless to say that it took them some time.

Gavin wasn't planning on going out with either Anderson nor Connor. He understand Nines, they had learned to work with each other and not spend a bad time, but with the other two it was different. With Anderson was just not going to work, they weren't even polite with each other, that was how their relationship was. Gavin didn't like Anderson work ethics and he was pretty sure Anderson didn't like his. With Connor he was unsure as to what even say or do, they had had their bonding moment with how Gavin had to deal with Nines, and Gavin still had that stupid random thoughts encouraging being more close with Connor and not in formal ways, so going out with Connor was definitely out of the possibilities.

Or at least that's what he thought.

It looked like Nines and Connor made something up without Anderson or Gavin knowing. Nines had been talking with Connor at every slight chance they got and Gavin was starting to get annoyed. He didn't know why he felt annoyed but he knew he felt that way, a deep part of himself was growling to Nines and he knew that of he actually took some time to reflectionate why he would understand it, and that was why, when Nines asked him at the end of their turn if he wanted to get a beer or something he almost said no.

The ride to the bar was just him and Nines talking about neutral topics and one or two of the mocking remarks that they got used to. Gavin parked at the place and entered just to start following Nines to a table that he had already separated. The surprise was around 5 minutes later when Connor and Anderson arrived.

They both tried to go without a victory, and, thanks to Nines and Connor they were forced to spend a 'civilian’ night. It wasn't though.

The ambiance was filled with awkward silences and the few times they talked it was just to throw shade at each other. It was tense and Gavin knew that it was not going to work. The outing finished with Anderson and Gavin almost punching each other and with Nines screaming at both of them. 

Gavin didn't wanted to admit it, but he looked at Connor almost all the night, to the point that after being scolded by Nines he caught Connor's disappointed face.

Two days later he was talking with Anderson about being civil and having a real night out. Even if Anderson seemed to look suspicious, he accepted because of Connor, and while it hadn't been the best night of Gavin's life, he understood that he could bare with Anderson if it meant that he wasn't going to disappoint Connor again.

Gavin understood that if he could please Connor, at least indirectly, he was going to do it.

\-----------

“I actually wanted to talk to you, detective Reed” Connor said taking him out of his small trance “could we go…”

Connor didn't finish talking when another voice interrupted him.

“Connor!” Both turned to see where the voice was coming from and as soon Gavin saw who called, he recognized them.

Markus, the Android that lead the revolution was walking towards them. Another three were following him, two guys and a girl, and Gavin stood aside and let them greet each other.

“How are you doing? Haven't seen much from you lately?” Markus said while Connor finished saying hi to the other three.

“Job has been pretty hard this last two weeks, we've been filling hundreds of reports, couldn't free myself” Connor seemed like he trusted them and Gavin thought if at one point Connor could trust him the same. 

“He is detective Gavin Reed” said Connor turning to see Gavin and standing aside to let the others see him “ He is Nines work partner, one of the best detectives of Detroit” Gavin was surprised by the sudden introduction but rapidly raised a hand to say hi to the others.

Markus got surprised for a couple of seconds in which he looked at Connor and then smiled and took Gavin's hand. Gavin extended his hand towards the others while Connor presented them. “Gavin, this are Markus, Simon, North and Josh” Gavin nodded to them while he processed the fact of how his name fitted with Connor's voice.

“Yes, I remember seeing you last year” Gavin said before something else popped in his mind, but he still didn't feel comfortable there “Now, if you excuse me, I was supposed to meet a friend, have a good night” it had been a lie, but Gavin needed to go away and start thinking about what life choice made him end in a situation where he could start feeling the beginning of an arousal just from hearing Connor say his name.

He was walking aimlessly when Tina called him from one of the setted up tables.

“Guessed you weren't coming?” Tina said smiling and pointing at a chair next to her.

Gavin sat and drank the last thing of his beer. “Yeah well, I was actually dragged here thanks to Nines”

Tina laughed before looking back at him “So now you are married to him and he forces you to come to work parties?” She smiled mockingly knowing that Gavin wasn't going to let it go.

“Shut up, he blackmailed me” and it hadn't been a lie, Nines actually made him feel bad using his feelings to Connor and that had been why he was in the 'party’.

“With what did he blackmailed you?” She joked “Did he finally found out who your crush was?” 

The last comment shaked Gavin from the core and looked at Tina surprised. “How did you know?”

There was no use in fighting Tina, so he passed directly to the important matter. He needed to know who had told her.

“You are a little more stupid than what you look like, you know?” Tina seemed to be enjoying herself and Gavin hated himself for letting it go that far “Now, who is this secret person?” 

Gavin was in a state of shock but his nerves went down at the moment she asked who he liked. He was not telling her, he knew that much. “No, not telling”

“Oh, come on Reed, gossip!” Gavin didn't want to just leave Tina alone but she didn't left him other choice.

“Still a no, now, I have to go, see you later” and before she could say or do something he was already standing up and going away.

Now he had nowhere to go. He decided to stop firstly in the table with the snacks and grab another beer and some chips before making any other decision.

He was standing just at the side of the table when Anderson reached him.

“A hermit as always, right Reed?” Anderson said while he also took a beer and accompanied him.

“Fuck off, I was dragged here, Anderson” Anderson laughed and Gavin had the feeling that Nines told him that he had to go and take him out of his house.

Anderson seemed like he was enjoying himself but besides banter and the night outs they hadn't the kind of relationship to just have small talk. Anderson seemed to be thinking the same thing when he turned to see Gavin.

“Listen, Connor wanted to talk with you, he is at the other corner” Gavin looked at where Anderson started to point to see Connor and some officers talking “He said it was important”

Gavin suddenly remembered the conversation they had before getting interrupted, and nodded.

He finished his second beer and started walking to where Connor was. He reached him and was going to free the other officers when they started walking away.

“Hello again, Gavin” Connor smiled and Gavin started getting self conscious again because of being called by his first name.

“Hey, Anderson said you wanted to talk about something important?” Gavin wanted it to be over, being alone with Connor was something he couldn't let himself have.

Connor's eyes darkened with something Gavin didn't know how to interpret. “Listen, I think…”

And for the second time that day Connor got interrupted again. 

Captain Fowler was walking towards them in a cheery mood (probably he had had too much beer for his own good). “Connor! Boy! So glad you are here!” Gavin didn't know whether to laugh or not, and decided by the last one, and after seeing the captain take Connor away with something about 'being introduced to the head of the revolution’, Gavin decided to start packing around again.

It was not like there was something better to do.

*************

Gavin was having a weird time, he had made a point to himself not to drink too much in effects of him getting drunk and doing or saying things he didn't want to say, but he was considering breaking his own rules by now. He couldn't even understand what was happening with himself and why he was being a lot more open than usual. It was past midnight, and almost everyone was in a fool mood, Tina spend every moment she had trying to get more information as to who his crush was, Anderson kept coming to talk to him and making weird insinuations, Nines kept making him talk with Connor, and Connor looked as if he wanted to tell him something important but everytime he got near Gavin something kept posposin the moment.

“So are you just going to stay sitting there for the rest of the night?” When Gavin looked up he saw Tina smiling, with two bottles of beer, and sitting at his side.

“Not in the mood Tina” 

“Kinda guessed that” Tina kept smiling and offered him one of the bottles, he didn't felt like not taking it.

Gavin opened the beer and before drinking it he scanned the room for anything that happened. He took a gulp of his drink and his eyes fell instantly on Connor who was now talking with Anderson.

Maybe he could live with the weird feelings after all. He definitely didn't like it, but it was better that jus expecting for something to happen. Connor deserved someone better who didn't insult him and ignore him.

“Your crush is Connor, isn't it?” Gavin took another big gulo from his beer and decided that he was going to need another. Tina, on the other hand, was just looking at him, funnily enough not as shocked as Gavin thought she would be.

“You knew?” Gavin decided that if Nines already knew he owe that to Tina.

“Kinda expected it, yes. The department has a bet into who you were going to end with, Connor or Nines” Gavin just chuckled and shaked his head amused, maybe he wasn't as discrete as he thought he was. “Here comes prince charming, good luck Reed” Tina said and winked and before he could even ask what was going on, she stood up and left.

“Hey, want to go to the rooftop?” A chill went through Gavin's back at the sound of Connor's voice and he stood up. 

Connor was nice, and not letting him know about his feelings was the least Gavin would do for him.

**********

They got to the rooftop and Gavin started feeling nervous. He didn't like being left alone with Connor, most of all because he didn't knew how he was going to react at anything that could happen, and while Gavin was almost sure nothing was going to happen, his fight or flight reflexes were kicking in.

“What about if we go in a date?” Gavin tensed.

What the fuck was happening.

“In a romantic one, I mean” Gavin let himself turn to watch Connor and, even if he knew that he was going to see Connor's eyes, he still noticed how his breathing got faster.

“What?” A date, Connor had actually asked Gavin on a date, right when he had decided that he was okay with his feelings and was going to just let them go, Connor goes and asks him on an actual date.

“Gavin, during the last year I'm sure I have developed some romantic feelings towards you, I didn't want to say anything because most of the time you acted as if you didn't even wanted me close.” A pang I'm Gavin's chest for the third time on the day made him realise how stupid he was “But today I told Nines that you didn't want to come and he was aware of my feelings for you, that is why sometimes he tried to leave us together, but not only that, he knew something else that he didn't want to tell me. So he goes to I don't know where and when he arrives to the party you are with him.” 

“Hank also knew” That was a surprise even though it shouldn't have been. “So when both of you arrived, Hank and Nines told me to go and talk to you, that you also had feelings for me, and that I could do something, so I've been trying during all the night to actually talk to you and ask you out”

Connor said to much and Gavin needed to process all of that. Hank somehow knew that Gavin liked Connor, Nines had been trying to act as Cupid and set them up together, and Connor felt something for him.

He is still trying to process everything when Connor talked again.

“So?” Connor looked anxious and hopeful and Gavin hated himself in that moment more than any other time.

“No” He turned around and started walking towards the door, he wasn't going to see Connor's face, Gavin didn't think he could bare it.

“What?” Connor surely didn't expect the answer because he promptly started walking behind me.

“I said no, Connor” He didn't give up. Connor grabbed Gavin by the arm taking him of guard.

“I won't pressure you, I just want to know if Nines and Hank were wrong, that you don't feel anything for me?” Gavin freed his arm from Connor's gripping just to regret it after that, he missed the touch.

\-------

Gavin knew exactly when had been the first time that he craved Connor's touch. The four of them went out as usual to one of Anderson's recommended bars and they, or at least Gavin and Anderson wanted to go and get at least tipsy. They hadn't had much work that day but they were just in the mood. 

They arrived to the bar talking about whatever small thing came to their minds and took a table for the four of them. The day had been uneventful and they just wanted to get out of the department. 

Gavin didn't know how, but suddenly hey were up and go in the train of banter and with at least three beers each one. Gavin didn't get drunk easily, but that day he left his guard down and didn't eat anything before going to the bar. The banter became dares between them and the bottles of beer glasses of shots. Gavin and Anderson decided that they had accomplished their mission when Anderson stood up deciding to go to the bathroom and throw up some of the drinks he had. 

“I'll go” Nines said surprising Gavin, he had expected Connor to go, but the alcohol didn't seemed to let him be weirded out “the old man is capable of actually falling in there.”

Nines stood up and went away. Even drunk Gavin knew things were going to get awkward if he didn't do something so he also stood up and started walking toward the bar to pay for their drinks. He hadn't noticed how drunk he actually was until he tried to put a foot in front of the other and felt as if he could barely stay standing.

“Need any help?” Connor was standing at his side, not touching him but almost.

Gavin didn't have the head to actually feel mad with Connor so he just arched an eyebrow “Pretty sure I can walk to the bar” his voice hadn't sounded mad but playful and Gavin asked himself if it had been a bad idea to actually get drunk with Connor nearby. 

Gavin started to walk towards the bar with as much elegancy as possible, something that was sure wasn't happening but at least he hadn't fell. He heard Connor giggle behind him and smiled to himself, maybe it wasn't that bad and he could get drunk more often with Connor.

“I'm paying our table” Gavin announced to the guy behind the bar and he, after giving a look towards Connor, just nodded and started to take the bill out. Gavin took his card out of his wallet and handed it to the guy.

“Wait, I could put another part of the bill” Connor started arguing but Gavin wasn't going to let him, he felt good that night.

“'s okay, just take advantage of my good actions today, probably won't happen again” And then he smiled and winked at Connor, something that he was going to make him want to kill himself next morning. Connor seemed to find amusing Gavin's behavior and chuckled.

The guy behind the bar gave back Gavin's card, and, after putting it back in his wallet and signing the receipt the guy handed him, Gavin turned to start walking towards the exit without remembering how drunk he was. Gavin's feet didn't seemed to coordinate and he already saw himself in the floor when one arm went around his waist and a second arm grabbed him by the shoulder.

Surprised, Gavin looked at Connor and in less than half a second he became self-conscious as to where Connor's hands were, how did his body felt against Connor's, and how would it felt if Connor was touching him in other parts. Gavin tried to pull back only to make Connor grab him stronger.

“Let's go outside” Gavin could only nod and even if the rational part of his brain said that it was nothing other part of his brain just wanted to let Connor hold him forever. That without counting the hard bulge that was actually forming in his pants.

They got outside and just as they reached Gavin's car, Gavin separated from Connor.

“Uhm, thanks” were the only words Gavin could muster just to win a very small you're welcome

Couple of minutes later Nines and Anderson stepped out of the bar and they were saying good-byes. When Nines finally dropped him in his house, Gavin went to his room and started to deal with his erection. The real problem was that the only person he could imagine was Connor, specifically Connor touching him.

He realized he was doomed the next day when the hungover let him remember last night.

\--------

Connor still was expecting an answer and Gavin as always seemed like he couldn't master the words. 

No, I don't.

Gavin wanted to say it, he couldn't let Connor fell for someone as him, he wasn't worthy of it, he didn't deserve that.

“You do, you feel something” Hearing Connor say with so emotion in his voice made him want to run away and change States but he was frozen “Then why don't you want to?”

He hated questions he wasn't ready to answer, and mostly he hated the fact that Connor was the one asking him the questions. Gavin was vulnerable. Any answer would break either Connor or himself and that had been something he tried to avoid since the beginning.

“Gavin, why?” A flashback came to his mind from the first time he saw the robots raising and thinking that is was stupid thinking that they could feel anything, and it made him feel worse, if Connor could talk with that tone of his voice, almost cracking, they could definitely feel something.

“Because I hurt you with every bad decision I make” it had been just a whisper but the rooftop was so quiet and Connor was so eager to hear an answer that it could have been a scream “When we first met I acted like a shithead to you. I was an asshole the first two weeks or so and I never even apologized. Then I realized about my feelings for you and knew that if there was something that I did not deserved, it was you. You, acting good with everyone who didn't deserve it, you doing things you didn't have to do for people that didn't thank or apologize, it was always you and I knew that I had been such an asshole that now I had to live with that. So I ignored you as much as I could. I acted like a jerk to push you away and make you hate me as much as I hate myself for acting like I did. And you, with your prince charming complex, you decided that you wanted to stay and you've been pushing all my barriers down, but I don't deserve you and I don't want you getting into a relationship with someone like myself. So yes, I feel something for you, but no, I'm not letting you hurt because of me.”

Connor was watching him, he felt the gaze everywhere and Gavin just wanted to start running.

“I'm pretty sure you are sorry” Connor started talking calmed, soothing, as if he was scared that he would run away with any sudden movement “When I first met you I admit I thought you were an asshole” Gavin met Connor's eyes in regret and he noticed how he started giving small steps towards him “And you weren't my favorite person in general, but then I spent time with the Jericho's members and something change, maybe it was time for me to act more peaceful, so I made a decision that everything that happened with me before I deviate was in the past, and that aggressive solutions weren't going to be an option. So my first mission was helping you out with Nines, and at the beginning it was kind of a nuisance, but after it work out, I started to put more attention to you. You weren't someone that made decisions just for him, I noticed your fence of justice and loyalty and I really understood why you had chosen to be a cop. You are a lot more than some mistakes”

“Those are a lot more than just some mistakes” Gavin was breaking, Connor had reached him, but was expecting him to make the first movement. “I was racist and everyone had to deal with that” 

“There are two outlets out of this” Connor said while he moved his hands to be barely touching Gavin's “You either accept or decline my proposal but we all know that you didn't know enough in the past, now you know and decided to stay in the Detroit apartment working and living with our kind. You're different now”

Gavin felt the world spin and for a moment he thought he was dreaming. This was something he never thought it could happen to him but he was there now and it was happening.

“So? What do you say?” Connor's eyes were shining and he hated himself for being as coward as to stop himself for giving themselves a chance.

“A dinner next Friday sounds good?” Connor broke into a big smile and grabbed one of Gavin's hands in his.

“I'm sorry, for everything” Gavin felt like it was late at this point, but he had to, if they were going to start something, Gavin was going to make sure it was with the right foot.

“You are forgiven in my book” 

Gavin returned Connor's smile and stood there for a moment. 

“Smooth taking me out to the rooftop and just blurting out the question, by the way” said Gavin between a chuckle “Very well planned”

Connor laughed with him and Gavin let himself enjoy the sound after so much time.

“It was actually Nines and Markus idea, they thought putting the mood would help” Gavin couldn't help but to freely laugh now.

“You definitely need practice with that” He saw directly at Connor's eyes and the warmth involved them, until suddenly it down to him “Wait, Markus also know?” 

Connor had the decency to looked surprised and blush a little, making Gavin chuckle again. Maybe he really didn't hate Connor and his attitude, but no one needed to know that.

And if when both of them went down to the party standing closer together and at one point of the nights they actually hold hands and could hear little cheers, well that was a problem for another day.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
